2 seconds

I watched this video of the explosions at the Boston Marathon, but I could only get 10 seconds into it. Then I couldn’t help but replay those first 10 seconds.
replay.
replay.
replay.
Only the first 10 seconds every time.
replay.

As the video begins, you see a couple runners finishing up. You see the sidelines, lined with differing people and flags, all tucked and squished behind the fences that line this year’s running of the world’s oldest annual marathon. You hear cheering and clapping and an announcer over a loudspeaker saying something in a calm, informative manner. It’s a happy scene.

The bomb explodes six seconds into the video.

The following 2 seconds were intense, emotional, and anxiety stricken. I was in complete disbelief. 2 seconds. Disturbingly fascinating.

I could not fathom any reason anyone would ever do this. Flipping on the individual that your significant other is cheating on you with is one thing. That, and plenty of other crimes, are understandable to me. I see them as mistakes, or flaws in judgement, but none the less, made by human beings. People beat up and raped by life often return return the favor to weak targets. Crimes like those are deplorable acts, and people responsible lack self control, empathy, respect and many other things integral to a positive human experience. Yet I still understand that they will happen.

Robbing a store?

Drinking and driving?

Deplorable, yet understandable.

The motives that lead to that explosion in Boston, I’ll never understand.

But those 2 seconds.

The reason I kept replaying the video was to try and put myself in that position. Empathizing.

Immediately after the explosion, there’s 2 seconds. 2 seconds of silence. The announcer stops talking. People aren’t cheering, but people aren’t screaming either.

I couldn’t stop thinking about all the thoughts surging, crashing, flying, diving, and hiding in everyone’s brains as they scramble to grasp what was going on. For 2 seconds, the people understandably froze.

Pause the video just right around 6 seconds, you’ll see the flames from the explosion, but no ones reacted. They’re just hearing the noise. First impression. It’s sickening to stare at and think about, but I can’t help it.

It’s the ultimate image of innocence lost. A still view of victory, courage, and hard work, right before it’s dropped completely into utter chaos and fear by a selfish, disgusting act.

I’ll sit for hours thinking about those 2 seconds. The silent frantic clawing of thoughts searching for explanation and solution.

1) What the fuck
2) Where the fuck do I go
3) Why the fuck
4) Who the fuck

It’s a nauseating thought sequence.

It’s a horrible tragedy. How anyone sings praises for mass deaths of innocent humans is beyond anything I’m capable of understanding. No incentive is worth causing so much pain. The despicable cause of this event is not worthy of being treated human. Tragedies like this don’t fit into my moral equations. The rules don’t apply. Every human’s got a right to trial, but let the beasts burn.

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